Thursday, December 9, 2010

Something New

published December 9, 2010

As we cram for finals and rush to finish last minuet projects, the elusive dream of finally venturing home for the holidays drifts closer. Seeing old friends and family and spending what’s left of our paychecks on gifts that will possibly get returned will consume your winter break, therefore before you get to all that fun, I feel the need to leave you with a small news update from school and the surrounding area.
To kick off the second night of opening at the Red Ravens new venue, Lacey Scheelk and a group of 10 other poets got together on December 2 for the second GLTBQAI poetry night. The new location on Main Ave, Fargo ND is certainly a change from Red Raven’s former scene. A confined basement room has given way to the high lofted ceiling, salmon pink walls, hanging glass ball lights, and massive doors of an old firehouse. Parking is limited, but seeing as it’s just a bus ride and short walk away from MSUM campus, the commute is more than reasonable. Amidst the sounds of the coffee maker and the construction that accompanies the work in progress coffee house, the space accommodated a total of about 30 guests including myself and some university professors.
The order of the readers was decided by drawing names of a hat and the organizer of the even –quite appropriately- was the first up, delighting everyone with a short song tribute to Adam Lambert as well as a prose poem from class. Justine Breedon voiced her thoughts on the “mush left by Bush”, and Akshat Sharma left me particularly satisfied with his satirical poems, love letter with a twist, and the March Hare: a Gay Conduct Novel. The rest of the night included; Hidden Psalms, a 4th grade poem about rain being mother earth’s tears, Annual Resistance, songs and improvisation accompanied by drums reminding us to slow down and take our time in life, and even a brilliantly awkward piece about Green Spandex. The night ended with, get this: a knighting. Scheelk, leaving MSUM for MN State in Minneapolis, dubbed two poets Amy Schobinger; Lady of Words, and Danica Maloney; Dame of Pages as her successors who will continue with the tradition of poetry night in the future.
Not being a particularly adamant frequenter of the poetry scene, I was pleasantly surprised with the whole experience and I’m glad that I was able to go, even when being pulled around by the pinkies by the cafĂ© owner’s young daughter. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a plug for poetry readings all over the world, but in a small community where one of the readers may very well be someone in your class, or even someone you know, it really is worth it to be involved in. As Amanda read from a poem she wrote on her phone, “it’s time to learn something new, every day.”
There will be more opportunities to get involved with the GSA scene and I hope to see you readers at the next event! You might enjoy it more than you think.
To wrap up this semester, I offer a heartfelt thanks to all the wonderful poets and guests who attended the second event at Red Raven. Have a wonderful and safe winter break and look forward to weekly sexuality columns from yours truly next semester! Stay curious.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Voice to the Voiceless

Published: November 11


While looking though the MSUM Sexuality column blog, I (finally) noticed that one of the articles -“Time to Recognize,” had a comment! Firstly, let me say that I’m thrilled that someone is looking at the blog. Yay social networking!
The following is the response posted on October 8th, 2010, by an unnamed source: “While I do think people are ill informed about the GSA club on campus, I also think there is a sort of exclusionary feel toward the Rainbow Room. I have felt a little bit as though I need an invitation to come and talk and hang out or whatever, since I'm not gay myself. I think this is often the emotion of the other students. I would maybe go so far as to say some people may just be intimidated because of a lack of knowledge or information about the GLBTQAI community on campus. Maybe part of making the GSA club more visible and accepted on campus is emphasizing that GSA is about giving voice to the voiceless and empowering those who have been systematically dis-empowered. This means anyone who has a strong conviction toward this line of thinking can join or get involved.”
I’m much obliged Unnamed source, for this thought out response. Furthermore, I’m delighted that you spoke up because this topic has been at the back of my mind for months and has just now found its outlet thanks to you. I myself admit to having fallen victim to what I like it call ‘the Rainbow wall’. The Wall is a conscious, and sometimes subconscious, fear that prevents people from asking questions about or entering into the Rainbow Room. It is the invisible uncertainty that keeps students at an arms length.
So, let me say now that the Rainbow Room and the Gay Straight Alliance is for EVERYONE. We don’t have some quasi high tech gaydar system that sniffs out and rejects the straight people. The club and the Room are communities for every person on this campus. To hit this point home, in a recent meeting with Housing Representative Nina Johnson we discussed the addition of a GSA table to the Visit Day receptions starting this Friday for new students, as well a short informational meeting with the Dragon Ambassadors in December.
Until then though –Unnamed source, readers, I extend a personal invitation from me to you. Please stop by whenever you see the door open, Rainbow flag in view. Want to do more than lounge on the couches, surf the web, or read from the Rooms persona LGBT library? Drop in on a club meeting and come see us on Tuesdays at 6pm. Club matters are discussed for the first hour or so but many of us stay around and shoot the breeze till 9pm. That’s a 3 hour window of opportunity!
I’ll say it again; straight people are welcome. If you assume that everyone allowed in the Rainbow Room has to be gay or lesbian and that’s what’s keeping you from going inside, you’re sorely mistaken and you’re missing out on meeting some really great people. It doesn’t matter what genders hand you chose to hold, everyone has a voice in the Rainbow Room. Thanks for reading and I hope to see you soon. –Stay curious!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Coming out- Being there

Published: November 4th, 2010

I’ve always believed that we can learn from stories. After all, why keep telling them if they don’t bring about anything productive. The story I wish to share with you today is partly my own, and one that is often and unfortunately a common situation.
I used to be very religious. Not so much in a devout way, but the congregation was like a second family to me. I loved the church, I loved the people, and while I hated getting up early on Sundays I did it anyway. The Pastor there was a good man in an older bother sort of way and I trusted him and considered him a friend. So when I –a 13-year-old girl at the time- told him I was attracted to other girls, I expected something reassuring to come of it.
“Don’t worry,” he said calmly. “I know a good psychiatrist.”
Shocked didn’t cover it. I didn’t want to hear that at all. I didn’t want to hear I had to go to some doctor to get ‘fixed.’ The only thing I wanted to hear was, “Don’t worry. That’s not a disease.”
To those of you have experienced it, you’ll know these words to be true: coming out is scary and the better you know someone the harder it is to tell them. Inwardly, we have to fight very hard to find ourselves. Outwardly, we have to fight against the rejection and the hatred of others.
A long and arduous process wouldn’t even begin to describe what I went through before the next time I was able to come out to another adult. When I did though it was to my high school Councilor. She was a woman I barely knew but I was at such a low point in my life I didn’t care what happened anymore. If she were to tell me I had some sort of illness at least our relationship wouldn’t suffer for the heartbreak it caused. But when I told her she just looked at me calmly and said: “It’s okay. That isn’t something to be ashamed of.”
There is nothing wrong with me; I am not sick; I am not perverted; I am not going through a ‘phase.’ I’ve long since come out to my parents and while it was rocky at first, I knew who I was and it wasn’t going to change that just to please someone else.
As we grow older, see more things, it is my hope for that the people in this world will gain compassion. People have different values and different ideas. New friends will constantly surprise you; strange people in your class, people you live with, work with, and talk with. Every person you meet from this moment on will teach you humanism and small worlds give way to broader horizons.
If you find yourself in a situation where someone you care about chooses to open their hearts to you, know this: the person who was your childhood friend, your son or your daughter, sister or brother, is still that very same person. They haven’t changed so don’t change your opinion of them. If you care about them, don’t make them scared to tell you things. We do not choose to be gay, but we do choose whom we tell. Please do not make us regret confiding in you.
For more advice on what to do if someone comes out to you, please visit the Rainbow Room in the CMU. Thanks for reading -stay curious!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

the message battle.

This is a little lame, but i think this emphasizes the reason I became such a bitter person. The following is a Message battle I had on facebook with a jerk. I had my moments of dropping F-bombs, but then I calmed down. These are the types of people I want everyone to watch out for. I know the urge to smash them in the face with a chair is rising, but contain yourself...


me: please stop posting such cruel things on the RIP wall.

him: please stop being a butthurt faggot

me: you know what you god damn bigot motherfucker you can take all your narrow minded shit and shove it right back up your ass where it belongs. I was trying to be nice, but if you want to get into a fucking message battle with me I'm more than willing to bury you.

him: fine have it your way: I challenge you to a Poke'battle!

me: this is not a pokemon battle. I would say that I'm trying to respect that you have different opinions that me, but your opinions are not worth respecting. Why are you so against people paying respects to people who have died? If you had a friend kill themselves, would you want people bashing them like you're doing?

him: do you forfeit?

me: Forfeit? im still arguing with you. just because Im not stooping to your level of base argument style doesn't mean i forfeit anything. besides, as soon as you started typing you lost.

him: no...you just lost.....the game. and coincedentily so did i

me: .... as funny as i find that, i think I'm going to stop taking to you now. You aren't taking what you say seriously and I'm done with you. if you want to say I backed out, be my guest. you and i will know the truth of this conversation (not that it will weigh on your mind much.) Please try to be more considerate in the future Andrew.


it was at this point that i blocked him because i realized i had been arguing with a man that had the mentality of a 5 year old. he had nothing substantial to say and while he proved himself to be a complete tool, I shall continue to be depressed for the rest of the night.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Time to Recognize

Published: october 7th

When asked if the recognition of the Gay Straight Alliance was apparent in MSUM, Lacey Scheelk responded with a flat out and unhesitant “No.” In lieu of that response, freshmen, I pose this question to you: during your campus tours, did your guide make it a point to inform you of the GSA clubroom in the CMU? I’ll bet that most of you would say no. How many of you didn’t even know MSUM had a GSA club till you walked past it on your way to Kise? I’ll bet most of you would raise your hands. The sad fact is that GSA seems to reside in a dark little unknown corner of MSUM’s campus and members of said club are not at all pleased. Justin Barton heartily agrees with Lacey’s observation in saying that “those who are afraid to come out, or get involved would not be required to go out of their way to ask about GSA if its presence was made readily known from the start.”
As a bisexual and active GSA supporter since middle school, my college choice was strongly influenced by what type of community the campus presented. What is MSUM saying to the potential students of a minority community when the mention of the Rainbow Dragon room is sometimes completely avoided? I’ve noticed that people who walk into the room sometimes seem shocked when the find out just where they are and they end up walking right back out with a flustered or annoyed expression. This, in the words of a friend, is just “not cool.”
Perhaps as a freshman three years ago, I was a bit naive in my initial assumption that a tight knit community like Moorhead would not have issues with GSA comings and goings. Perhaps I was even naive in thinking that college would perhaps offer a better experience as a she-oriented individual than high school did. Apparently my assumptions were wrong. Now, I know that it is mostly up to the club itself to promote its events and purpose, but I feel that the general attitude towards gay people on MSUM is still one of misunderstanding. This makes me sad, but it also makes me want to do something. I’m not going the Lavender route and shouting, “Recruit, recruit, recruit,” in any way shape or form, but I’m going to express what I feel should be known as a common truth. The gay community is present here and we are not sitting out anymore. The time of assuming that being attracted to the same sex, or that being confused about gender identity is something to be ashamed of has passed.
Because this campus has a strong conservative presence and there have even been reports of harassment in the past, if I had not happened upon the rainbow flag in the CMU, I don’t think I would have considered enrolling. It is important for people, especially in this time of their lives when strong relationships can be built, to feel that they have a safe place to go and be heard. The GSA community faces enough problems as is, and in a place of higher learning these problems are nothing but a hindrance to progress. It is my humble opinion that to correct these injustices, MSUM’s GSA club should be a noteworthy point on Dragon Day guides’ itinerary. Conservatives may not like it, but we’re here and we’re queer and nothing they say (or don’t say in this case) is going to change it! Thank you for your time. Stay curious.

Poetry and GSA: Coming out

Published: october 7th

As I’m hoping most of you know, MSUM’s Coming Out Week is quickly approaching. The week after National Coming Out week, Oct. 17-23, is the GSA clubs aspiration to encourage students to “share themselves in hopes of encouraging others to feel comfortable with coming out, or their own gender identity,” Justin Braton said, recent MSUM GSA club member and transfer from Mankato state. Whether you identify yourself as a member or an ally, Coming Out Week is a gratifying experience for everyone. So far, activities planned and organized by our dedicated GSA club members and friends include: Chalk night, Coming Out night, and open mic night and poetry reading at The Red Raven, organized by Lacey Scheelk former 10 percent Club Secretary and Justin Braton.
In previous years, Coming Out Week has colored our campus with stunning sidewalk art and slogan’s. Citywide recognition was gained for the display when an act of vandalism drew the attention of The Forum, but recognition gained through such unfortunate means did little to touch on the intention of such an important week. The point, Lacey said, “Is to come to terms and accept who you are no matter how you define yourself.”
This years Coming Out week will be a landmark for GSA in the introduction of a new event. In order to link together two small communities in the Fargo-Moorhead area, Lacey and Justin have organized the first open poetry reading that focuses on the works of the Gay Straight Alliance community. On Oct. 21 from 7 p.m.-9 p.m., The Red Raven will be opening its’ doors to whomever wishes to share poems or stories related to their experiences as a GSA individual.
The event will kick off with original verse written by Lacey and Justin whereupon the floor will be given to whoever is brave enough to step up. Advertising for this event will be highlighted in the prior weeks Yellow Bicycle publication and on Facebook, but it’s up to word of mouth to really get this event kick-started. The 2010 Coming Out week at MSUM will be a success if students and faculty like you make it such. There are many passionate individuals working very hard to make this campus a home for everyone and proper support is needed and appreciated from the community.
Remember that these poets are your friends and neighbors, members of the community that make up MSUM, so come to The Red Raven on Oct. 21 from 7 p.m.-9 p.m. and show them your support! For questions or comments about what is sure to be a memorable and inspiring event, see GLBTQAI Poetry Open Mic Night Facebook page.

Sex and Such

First article.
Published:

No one’s going to tell you that relationships are all smooth sailing. The truth is they are messy and they can be even more so when they aren’t between a man and a woman. I’m sure you’ve all seen the GSA room in the CMU with the bright rainbow flag and wide open door, occasionally glimpsing a person reading a book or someone typing on the computer. You know it’s there and you see it’s active. However, what many people don’t know is that MSUM has a larger GLBT community than most of its students realize. In fact, I believe this campus has the largest concentrated GSA and GLBT community in the area. That’s a lot of people, right? Right. This column, focusing on the issues and concerns of the GLBT community at MSUM, will be the first of its kind regularly published in the Advocate. This population is now getting a much needed voice that will reach you: the students of MSUM, and hopefully encourage a better and more supportive understanding between everyone on the campus. After all, how do you come to know someone if there is no communication? I along with the other members of the Advocate staff have high hopes for this column and active response and feedback from all of you readers would be much appreciated. Spread the love I say! But I digress. Transsexual, bisexual, asexual (well maybe not you guys), homosexual, or straight. Due to the nature of human interaction, a relationship between two or more people is bound to have it’s kinks, questions, and concerns. In short, it’s going to have its issues. Some of these issues are important to share with the world, and some of these issues, if brought to the attention of others, no longer become an issue in the future. So who better to start gathering the attention than a friendly, non-biased bisexual who has no qualms getting down to the nitty-gritty of any subject. Don’t get me wrong though. Even though I am bisexual, by no means do I assume or mean to imply that I am an expert on all things GLBT. No one is truly an expert on such matters but that is why we have this column. I’ll do my very best to represent the voices of my fellow students and state the issues that demand attention. I certainly do have a fair share of experience that I can offer to the column myself, and I’m hoping that others will embrace this opportunity as I have. Embrace your individual voices my friends, because if you don’t use them, you’re never going to be heard. I’ll take the risk and say that now that the initial ‘acceptance stage’ is out of the way, we need to step up and put a little time into the ‘understanding stage’. Understanding the person sitting next to you, the person across the hall, the person sitting in the GSA room reading a book, maybe even understanding yourself. You are a college student. You live, love, work, and play in Moorhead, and so do I: your friendly, non-biased bisexual columnist. Thus, with that, I formally announce that the Advocate is here representing with open hearts, minds, doors, and closets, the issues important to a strong and vital community on MSUM. Stay tuned, and stay curious.