Published February 17th 2011
While I do get feedback from readers occasionally, once and a while someone comes to me with a question in need of answering. While emailing with an old high school friend about relationship troubles, he asked me this: “I really want to break up with my boyfriend of two years, but every time I’ve tried to, he makes the excuse that it’s because I’m not really gay and that I was just using him as an ‘experiment.’ I know I’m gay, but I end up hanging on because of some weird guilt trip. I don’t want the fact that I’m gay to be questioned. It’s Infuriating!”
Infuriating indeed my friend. Instead of giving him a little quip of an email as a response, I decided to take this Q&A to newsprint. First of all, I’ve seen many relationships where partner A is currently questioning their sexuality and partner B is already out of the closet. Many times these relationships don’t work out because of the initial doubt already in place before the relationship started. Partner B can eventually feel like they aren’t being taken seriously, and partner A can feel like they are being pushed into something that they aren’t ready for.
In this case, however, I know for a fact that my friend is 100% homosexual and that his boyfriend, “Sam,” is just refusing to let go. By saying that he is being considered as an ‘experiment’, “Sam” was perhaps already unsteady about the relationship in the first place and felt that neither of them was ever fully committed to making it work (odd for a relationship that has lasted for two years). However, when one person in a relationship wants to end it and the only way to keep them there is to ‘guilt trip’ them, the relationship has already tipped to the unhealthy side of the scale.
If my friend really wants to end things and is only afraid of leaving because “Sam” will think that he has been used, it’s not a good enough reason for him to stick around. My advice for my friend is to be taken with caution because I have not had the chance to speak with the other party involved, and it is always wise, before seeking advice of a third party or giving advice as the third party, to know the thoughts of others.
In the time impending Valentines celebrations, I say to my friend; it’s time to end the toxic association and move on. Be assertive when dealing with touchy subjects and be clear about what you feel. No one wants to be unhappy come Valentines Day after all. Signing off after what I hope is an informative column about relationship woes, yours truly –Stay curious!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
LGBTQAI events
Published Feb. 3, 2011
Learning about the different communities and cultures is an essential part of the college experience. It offers individuals a chance to grow considerably as human beings and grants rare insights into things one might not normally get to experience in their daily lives. MSUM offers a fantastic variety of programs, lectures, and colloquiums that cater to the ever-growing student and faculty hunger for knowledge, and on February 10, humanitarian awareness and intellectual expansion will get yet another boost from two events being held in the CMU.
The first event, taking place from 1pm-4pm in the CMU Ballroom, is MSUM Safe Zone Training, sponsored by the MSUM Office of Diversity and Inclusion. This informational meeting, led by Donna Brown, APV of student Affairs for Diversity and Inclusion, and Kyle Rausch, Admissions Councilor, aims to educate and inform individuals about LGBTQAI. “A Safe Zone,” Brown says, “is a place where someone can go and feel comfortable talking about LGBTQAI issues, or to talk about anything without fear of discrimination.” Those who attend the session will be provided with the resources they need to establish a safe and welcoming atmosphere for LGBTQAI persons. Brown feels that “the more people we can educate and assist with being comfortable discussing LGBTQAI issues the better.” Brown strongly urges students in leadership positions such as SOCs and RAs to attend the meeting. There are many faculty members throughout the MSUM campus whose offices already feature the colorful Safe Zone sticker on their doors. MSUM History professor Annette Morrow and Safe Zone ally who has been approached multiple times by students interested in finding information or counseling services, has this to say of the program; “The Safe Zone program provided me with information about how to handle situations –and about where to send students for help if they needed it. I am personally gratified when I have good answers for students who are questioning or in crisis.” Like Brown, Morrow believes that it is important that students know there are places they can go to chant freely without the worry of judgment
A full list of MSUM Safe Zone contact names and numbers can be found at http://www.mnstate.edu/safezone/contacts_dept.cfm.
During the second event, Rainbow Rice, held only on February 10 from 7pm-8pm in CMU 101, guest speaker Pamela Roy will talk about the complex and intersecting nature of race, ethnicity, class, gender, and sexual orientation as it pertains to members of the Asian/Asian Diaspora communities. Roy holds a national leadership position as the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgendered Issues Knowledge Community Co-Chair for NASPA, Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education. Brown, who knows Roy personally, believes that Roy will bring something unique to the table and leave attendees feeling that this “Wasn’t that same old lecture.” Brown feels that “We sometime skim the surface of topics such as the LGBTQAI community. We need to dig a little deeper and take more interest in the individuals and the individual situations.”
The context of the Rainbow Rice lecture will look at the experiences of South Asian lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer-identified student/administrators/faculty; South Asian transgender graduate students; Indian South African faculty in post colonial contexts, and students of color at faith-based institutions. While Rainbow Rice is open to everyone, the lecture would be particularly beneficial towards students interested in Multicultural, Gender, and Sociology studies.
A second Safe Zone informational meeting will also take place March 10 at the same time and place. For more information pertaining to either of these events, go to the Rainbow Room located in the CMU, contact Donna Brown at donna.brown@mnstate.edu, Kyle Rausch at kyle.rausch@mnstate.edu, or Anita Bender at anita.bender@mnstate.edu.
“Our true desire to be prepared to live and work in a diverse community,” Brown concluded, “is reflected in the attendance and participation of events of this type.”
Learning about the different communities and cultures is an essential part of the college experience. It offers individuals a chance to grow considerably as human beings and grants rare insights into things one might not normally get to experience in their daily lives. MSUM offers a fantastic variety of programs, lectures, and colloquiums that cater to the ever-growing student and faculty hunger for knowledge, and on February 10, humanitarian awareness and intellectual expansion will get yet another boost from two events being held in the CMU.
The first event, taking place from 1pm-4pm in the CMU Ballroom, is MSUM Safe Zone Training, sponsored by the MSUM Office of Diversity and Inclusion. This informational meeting, led by Donna Brown, APV of student Affairs for Diversity and Inclusion, and Kyle Rausch, Admissions Councilor, aims to educate and inform individuals about LGBTQAI. “A Safe Zone,” Brown says, “is a place where someone can go and feel comfortable talking about LGBTQAI issues, or to talk about anything without fear of discrimination.” Those who attend the session will be provided with the resources they need to establish a safe and welcoming atmosphere for LGBTQAI persons. Brown feels that “the more people we can educate and assist with being comfortable discussing LGBTQAI issues the better.” Brown strongly urges students in leadership positions such as SOCs and RAs to attend the meeting. There are many faculty members throughout the MSUM campus whose offices already feature the colorful Safe Zone sticker on their doors. MSUM History professor Annette Morrow and Safe Zone ally who has been approached multiple times by students interested in finding information or counseling services, has this to say of the program; “The Safe Zone program provided me with information about how to handle situations –and about where to send students for help if they needed it. I am personally gratified when I have good answers for students who are questioning or in crisis.” Like Brown, Morrow believes that it is important that students know there are places they can go to chant freely without the worry of judgment
A full list of MSUM Safe Zone contact names and numbers can be found at http://www.mnstate.edu/safezone/contacts_dept.cfm.
During the second event, Rainbow Rice, held only on February 10 from 7pm-8pm in CMU 101, guest speaker Pamela Roy will talk about the complex and intersecting nature of race, ethnicity, class, gender, and sexual orientation as it pertains to members of the Asian/Asian Diaspora communities. Roy holds a national leadership position as the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgendered Issues Knowledge Community Co-Chair for NASPA, Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education. Brown, who knows Roy personally, believes that Roy will bring something unique to the table and leave attendees feeling that this “Wasn’t that same old lecture.” Brown feels that “We sometime skim the surface of topics such as the LGBTQAI community. We need to dig a little deeper and take more interest in the individuals and the individual situations.”
The context of the Rainbow Rice lecture will look at the experiences of South Asian lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer-identified student/administrators/faculty; South Asian transgender graduate students; Indian South African faculty in post colonial contexts, and students of color at faith-based institutions. While Rainbow Rice is open to everyone, the lecture would be particularly beneficial towards students interested in Multicultural, Gender, and Sociology studies.
A second Safe Zone informational meeting will also take place March 10 at the same time and place. For more information pertaining to either of these events, go to the Rainbow Room located in the CMU, contact Donna Brown at donna.brown@mnstate.edu, Kyle Rausch at kyle.rausch@mnstate.edu, or Anita Bender at anita.bender@mnstate.edu.
“Our true desire to be prepared to live and work in a diverse community,” Brown concluded, “is reflected in the attendance and participation of events of this type.”
PFund Scholarship
Published....
There are so many scholarships and grants running amuck today that it seems there is one for just about everybody. Even though they are still incredibly hard to get, smaller scholarships are aimed at minorities who may need a helping hand when perusing their education. PFund is one such scholarship.
Founded in 1987 with a modest fund of $2000, the Philanthrofund Foundations vision was to become a catalyst in building communities in Minnesota where gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people live their lives free from discrimination, violence, invisibility, and isolation. The scholarship is designed to support and develop the LGBTQAI community in Minnesota, South Dakota, and North Dakota. Today the PFund is still a non-profit organization that works hard to develop a strong base and support for community members by providing scholarships that range from $2,000 to $5,000.
Over the years, the PFund scholarship has gained recognition through awards such as the Twin Cities Pride Community Pride Award in 2010, and was a finalist for the Minnesota Council of Nonprofits' Nonprofit Mission Award for Anti-Racism Initiative in 2009. Such recognition has created many opportunities for students all over the country to be recognized for their contributions and efforts in the LGBT community.
A recent PFund applicant from MSUM states, “I know there are allot of people applying for this scholarship, but I think that it’s great opportunity to at least send in an application. Getting recognized for hard work is always nice, even if I don’t end up getting the scholarship.”
The judging criteria for the PFund scholarships is as follows: applicant’s must make an affirmation of LGBT or allied identity, there must be evidence of significant service and leadership in the LGBT community, and evidence of serving, leading and working for change in LGBT communities, including as a role model, mentor and/or adviser.
For testimonials of past recipients or for more information about this unique scholarship program, visit http://www.pfundonline.org/index.html, or come to the Rainbow Dragon Room in the CMU and pick up an application.
The deadline for the PFund scholarship is on February 1, so it’s coming up fast! If you are at all interested in applying, don’t hesitate. A little money can go a long way and a little effort can be recognized. Best of luck to you who have already applied! Stay tuned for more columns from your own personal LGBT MSUM source–Stay curious.
There are so many scholarships and grants running amuck today that it seems there is one for just about everybody. Even though they are still incredibly hard to get, smaller scholarships are aimed at minorities who may need a helping hand when perusing their education. PFund is one such scholarship.
Founded in 1987 with a modest fund of $2000, the Philanthrofund Foundations vision was to become a catalyst in building communities in Minnesota where gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people live their lives free from discrimination, violence, invisibility, and isolation. The scholarship is designed to support and develop the LGBTQAI community in Minnesota, South Dakota, and North Dakota. Today the PFund is still a non-profit organization that works hard to develop a strong base and support for community members by providing scholarships that range from $2,000 to $5,000.
Over the years, the PFund scholarship has gained recognition through awards such as the Twin Cities Pride Community Pride Award in 2010, and was a finalist for the Minnesota Council of Nonprofits' Nonprofit Mission Award for Anti-Racism Initiative in 2009. Such recognition has created many opportunities for students all over the country to be recognized for their contributions and efforts in the LGBT community.
A recent PFund applicant from MSUM states, “I know there are allot of people applying for this scholarship, but I think that it’s great opportunity to at least send in an application. Getting recognized for hard work is always nice, even if I don’t end up getting the scholarship.”
The judging criteria for the PFund scholarships is as follows: applicant’s must make an affirmation of LGBT or allied identity, there must be evidence of significant service and leadership in the LGBT community, and evidence of serving, leading and working for change in LGBT communities, including as a role model, mentor and/or adviser.
For testimonials of past recipients or for more information about this unique scholarship program, visit http://www.pfundonline.org/index.html, or come to the Rainbow Dragon Room in the CMU and pick up an application.
The deadline for the PFund scholarship is on February 1, so it’s coming up fast! If you are at all interested in applying, don’t hesitate. A little money can go a long way and a little effort can be recognized. Best of luck to you who have already applied! Stay tuned for more columns from your own personal LGBT MSUM source–Stay curious.
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