Published Feb. 3, 2011
Learning about the different communities and cultures is an essential part of the college experience. It offers individuals a chance to grow considerably as human beings and grants rare insights into things one might not normally get to experience in their daily lives. MSUM offers a fantastic variety of programs, lectures, and colloquiums that cater to the ever-growing student and faculty hunger for knowledge, and on February 10, humanitarian awareness and intellectual expansion will get yet another boost from two events being held in the CMU.
The first event, taking place from 1pm-4pm in the CMU Ballroom, is MSUM Safe Zone Training, sponsored by the MSUM Office of Diversity and Inclusion. This informational meeting, led by Donna Brown, APV of student Affairs for Diversity and Inclusion, and Kyle Rausch, Admissions Councilor, aims to educate and inform individuals about LGBTQAI. “A Safe Zone,” Brown says, “is a place where someone can go and feel comfortable talking about LGBTQAI issues, or to talk about anything without fear of discrimination.” Those who attend the session will be provided with the resources they need to establish a safe and welcoming atmosphere for LGBTQAI persons. Brown feels that “the more people we can educate and assist with being comfortable discussing LGBTQAI issues the better.” Brown strongly urges students in leadership positions such as SOCs and RAs to attend the meeting. There are many faculty members throughout the MSUM campus whose offices already feature the colorful Safe Zone sticker on their doors. MSUM History professor Annette Morrow and Safe Zone ally who has been approached multiple times by students interested in finding information or counseling services, has this to say of the program; “The Safe Zone program provided me with information about how to handle situations –and about where to send students for help if they needed it. I am personally gratified when I have good answers for students who are questioning or in crisis.” Like Brown, Morrow believes that it is important that students know there are places they can go to chant freely without the worry of judgment
A full list of MSUM Safe Zone contact names and numbers can be found at http://www.mnstate.edu/safezone/contacts_dept.cfm.
During the second event, Rainbow Rice, held only on February 10 from 7pm-8pm in CMU 101, guest speaker Pamela Roy will talk about the complex and intersecting nature of race, ethnicity, class, gender, and sexual orientation as it pertains to members of the Asian/Asian Diaspora communities. Roy holds a national leadership position as the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgendered Issues Knowledge Community Co-Chair for NASPA, Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education. Brown, who knows Roy personally, believes that Roy will bring something unique to the table and leave attendees feeling that this “Wasn’t that same old lecture.” Brown feels that “We sometime skim the surface of topics such as the LGBTQAI community. We need to dig a little deeper and take more interest in the individuals and the individual situations.”
The context of the Rainbow Rice lecture will look at the experiences of South Asian lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer-identified student/administrators/faculty; South Asian transgender graduate students; Indian South African faculty in post colonial contexts, and students of color at faith-based institutions. While Rainbow Rice is open to everyone, the lecture would be particularly beneficial towards students interested in Multicultural, Gender, and Sociology studies.
A second Safe Zone informational meeting will also take place March 10 at the same time and place. For more information pertaining to either of these events, go to the Rainbow Room located in the CMU, contact Donna Brown at donna.brown@mnstate.edu, Kyle Rausch at kyle.rausch@mnstate.edu, or Anita Bender at anita.bender@mnstate.edu.
“Our true desire to be prepared to live and work in a diverse community,” Brown concluded, “is reflected in the attendance and participation of events of this type.”
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
PFund Scholarship
Published....
There are so many scholarships and grants running amuck today that it seems there is one for just about everybody. Even though they are still incredibly hard to get, smaller scholarships are aimed at minorities who may need a helping hand when perusing their education. PFund is one such scholarship.
Founded in 1987 with a modest fund of $2000, the Philanthrofund Foundations vision was to become a catalyst in building communities in Minnesota where gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people live their lives free from discrimination, violence, invisibility, and isolation. The scholarship is designed to support and develop the LGBTQAI community in Minnesota, South Dakota, and North Dakota. Today the PFund is still a non-profit organization that works hard to develop a strong base and support for community members by providing scholarships that range from $2,000 to $5,000.
Over the years, the PFund scholarship has gained recognition through awards such as the Twin Cities Pride Community Pride Award in 2010, and was a finalist for the Minnesota Council of Nonprofits' Nonprofit Mission Award for Anti-Racism Initiative in 2009. Such recognition has created many opportunities for students all over the country to be recognized for their contributions and efforts in the LGBT community.
A recent PFund applicant from MSUM states, “I know there are allot of people applying for this scholarship, but I think that it’s great opportunity to at least send in an application. Getting recognized for hard work is always nice, even if I don’t end up getting the scholarship.”
The judging criteria for the PFund scholarships is as follows: applicant’s must make an affirmation of LGBT or allied identity, there must be evidence of significant service and leadership in the LGBT community, and evidence of serving, leading and working for change in LGBT communities, including as a role model, mentor and/or adviser.
For testimonials of past recipients or for more information about this unique scholarship program, visit http://www.pfundonline.org/index.html, or come to the Rainbow Dragon Room in the CMU and pick up an application.
The deadline for the PFund scholarship is on February 1, so it’s coming up fast! If you are at all interested in applying, don’t hesitate. A little money can go a long way and a little effort can be recognized. Best of luck to you who have already applied! Stay tuned for more columns from your own personal LGBT MSUM source–Stay curious.
There are so many scholarships and grants running amuck today that it seems there is one for just about everybody. Even though they are still incredibly hard to get, smaller scholarships are aimed at minorities who may need a helping hand when perusing their education. PFund is one such scholarship.
Founded in 1987 with a modest fund of $2000, the Philanthrofund Foundations vision was to become a catalyst in building communities in Minnesota where gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people live their lives free from discrimination, violence, invisibility, and isolation. The scholarship is designed to support and develop the LGBTQAI community in Minnesota, South Dakota, and North Dakota. Today the PFund is still a non-profit organization that works hard to develop a strong base and support for community members by providing scholarships that range from $2,000 to $5,000.
Over the years, the PFund scholarship has gained recognition through awards such as the Twin Cities Pride Community Pride Award in 2010, and was a finalist for the Minnesota Council of Nonprofits' Nonprofit Mission Award for Anti-Racism Initiative in 2009. Such recognition has created many opportunities for students all over the country to be recognized for their contributions and efforts in the LGBT community.
A recent PFund applicant from MSUM states, “I know there are allot of people applying for this scholarship, but I think that it’s great opportunity to at least send in an application. Getting recognized for hard work is always nice, even if I don’t end up getting the scholarship.”
The judging criteria for the PFund scholarships is as follows: applicant’s must make an affirmation of LGBT or allied identity, there must be evidence of significant service and leadership in the LGBT community, and evidence of serving, leading and working for change in LGBT communities, including as a role model, mentor and/or adviser.
For testimonials of past recipients or for more information about this unique scholarship program, visit http://www.pfundonline.org/index.html, or come to the Rainbow Dragon Room in the CMU and pick up an application.
The deadline for the PFund scholarship is on February 1, so it’s coming up fast! If you are at all interested in applying, don’t hesitate. A little money can go a long way and a little effort can be recognized. Best of luck to you who have already applied! Stay tuned for more columns from your own personal LGBT MSUM source–Stay curious.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
What Isn't in a name?
published January 13
You eat it, you try to spell your name in it, and it’s probably very high in sodium. Well, at least that’s one way of looking at Alphabet soup. Another way is through LGBTQIA; the far more wholesome alphabet soup that I‘m here to tell you about today. This mouthful of letters stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning, Intersex, and Allies.
I was asked recently why such a ridiculously long and inclusive acronym is used to define a group. Believe it or not -note my sarcasm here please- the homosexual community and all their affiliates are still considered a pretty touchy subject to many people. Insert one of my life philosophies: people are like ostriches. They think that if they bury their head in the sand, they aren’t susceptible to the world outside. But if the world comes and bites the ostrich in its big feathered butt, surprise! Hello world, I’m listening now.
So why go to such lengths to include Intersex, Allies, Transgendered, and Questioning into the mix? Another astute inquiry. The answer, simply, is that if you call a person out by name, their conditioned response is to answer back or look. If a person on the street was shouting, “Everyone come to the party,” you may simply ignore them. But if they said, “(Insert your name), come to the party!” Wouldn’t you look?
Earlier in the year one of my articles stated that you don’t have to be gay to come to the GSA Rainbow room. Put simply, you don’t have to be in the rainbow to enjoy the refracted light. The inclusion of “S” in Gay Straight Alliance is so that even those individuals who are not homosexual know that they are welcome any time. This message, I believe, is mirrored in this long list of letters of Alphabet soup.
It is no secret that with sensitive issues like homosexuality and the LGBTQIA vista, many people won’t get involved unless they’re called out directly (I refer to my ‘world biting the ostrich in the butt” metaphor again). The reason that we go to such lengths to be inclusive, even reaching out to straight Allies, people currently Questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation, and Transgendered peoples, is because the very point and basis for the GSA community is to include EVERYONE in the effort for a more humanizing world.
I know it’s still a mouthful, and sure, I’d rather say the Everybody Club rather than LGBTQIA, but calling out each individual by name is a more effective way of getting people involved with a movement that really shouldn’t –after all this time- need to be a ‘movement’ at all.
There is no real difference between a gay person and a straight person (or transgendered, or questioning, or bisexual). We just like different thing, and is that really so different at all? That is my 101 on why the LGBTQIA acronym is so inclusive. No matter who you love, you’re just a person, like everybody else.
You eat it, you try to spell your name in it, and it’s probably very high in sodium. Well, at least that’s one way of looking at Alphabet soup. Another way is through LGBTQIA; the far more wholesome alphabet soup that I‘m here to tell you about today. This mouthful of letters stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning, Intersex, and Allies.
I was asked recently why such a ridiculously long and inclusive acronym is used to define a group. Believe it or not -note my sarcasm here please- the homosexual community and all their affiliates are still considered a pretty touchy subject to many people. Insert one of my life philosophies: people are like ostriches. They think that if they bury their head in the sand, they aren’t susceptible to the world outside. But if the world comes and bites the ostrich in its big feathered butt, surprise! Hello world, I’m listening now.
So why go to such lengths to include Intersex, Allies, Transgendered, and Questioning into the mix? Another astute inquiry. The answer, simply, is that if you call a person out by name, their conditioned response is to answer back or look. If a person on the street was shouting, “Everyone come to the party,” you may simply ignore them. But if they said, “(Insert your name), come to the party!” Wouldn’t you look?
Earlier in the year one of my articles stated that you don’t have to be gay to come to the GSA Rainbow room. Put simply, you don’t have to be in the rainbow to enjoy the refracted light. The inclusion of “S” in Gay Straight Alliance is so that even those individuals who are not homosexual know that they are welcome any time. This message, I believe, is mirrored in this long list of letters of Alphabet soup.
It is no secret that with sensitive issues like homosexuality and the LGBTQIA vista, many people won’t get involved unless they’re called out directly (I refer to my ‘world biting the ostrich in the butt” metaphor again). The reason that we go to such lengths to be inclusive, even reaching out to straight Allies, people currently Questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation, and Transgendered peoples, is because the very point and basis for the GSA community is to include EVERYONE in the effort for a more humanizing world.
I know it’s still a mouthful, and sure, I’d rather say the Everybody Club rather than LGBTQIA, but calling out each individual by name is a more effective way of getting people involved with a movement that really shouldn’t –after all this time- need to be a ‘movement’ at all.
There is no real difference between a gay person and a straight person (or transgendered, or questioning, or bisexual). We just like different thing, and is that really so different at all? That is my 101 on why the LGBTQIA acronym is so inclusive. No matter who you love, you’re just a person, like everybody else.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Something New
published December 9, 2010
As we cram for finals and rush to finish last minuet projects, the elusive dream of finally venturing home for the holidays drifts closer. Seeing old friends and family and spending what’s left of our paychecks on gifts that will possibly get returned will consume your winter break, therefore before you get to all that fun, I feel the need to leave you with a small news update from school and the surrounding area.
To kick off the second night of opening at the Red Ravens new venue, Lacey Scheelk and a group of 10 other poets got together on December 2 for the second GLTBQAI poetry night. The new location on Main Ave, Fargo ND is certainly a change from Red Raven’s former scene. A confined basement room has given way to the high lofted ceiling, salmon pink walls, hanging glass ball lights, and massive doors of an old firehouse. Parking is limited, but seeing as it’s just a bus ride and short walk away from MSUM campus, the commute is more than reasonable. Amidst the sounds of the coffee maker and the construction that accompanies the work in progress coffee house, the space accommodated a total of about 30 guests including myself and some university professors.
The order of the readers was decided by drawing names of a hat and the organizer of the even –quite appropriately- was the first up, delighting everyone with a short song tribute to Adam Lambert as well as a prose poem from class. Justine Breedon voiced her thoughts on the “mush left by Bush”, and Akshat Sharma left me particularly satisfied with his satirical poems, love letter with a twist, and the March Hare: a Gay Conduct Novel. The rest of the night included; Hidden Psalms, a 4th grade poem about rain being mother earth’s tears, Annual Resistance, songs and improvisation accompanied by drums reminding us to slow down and take our time in life, and even a brilliantly awkward piece about Green Spandex. The night ended with, get this: a knighting. Scheelk, leaving MSUM for MN State in Minneapolis, dubbed two poets Amy Schobinger; Lady of Words, and Danica Maloney; Dame of Pages as her successors who will continue with the tradition of poetry night in the future.
Not being a particularly adamant frequenter of the poetry scene, I was pleasantly surprised with the whole experience and I’m glad that I was able to go, even when being pulled around by the pinkies by the café owner’s young daughter. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a plug for poetry readings all over the world, but in a small community where one of the readers may very well be someone in your class, or even someone you know, it really is worth it to be involved in. As Amanda read from a poem she wrote on her phone, “it’s time to learn something new, every day.”
There will be more opportunities to get involved with the GSA scene and I hope to see you readers at the next event! You might enjoy it more than you think.
To wrap up this semester, I offer a heartfelt thanks to all the wonderful poets and guests who attended the second event at Red Raven. Have a wonderful and safe winter break and look forward to weekly sexuality columns from yours truly next semester! Stay curious.
As we cram for finals and rush to finish last minuet projects, the elusive dream of finally venturing home for the holidays drifts closer. Seeing old friends and family and spending what’s left of our paychecks on gifts that will possibly get returned will consume your winter break, therefore before you get to all that fun, I feel the need to leave you with a small news update from school and the surrounding area.
To kick off the second night of opening at the Red Ravens new venue, Lacey Scheelk and a group of 10 other poets got together on December 2 for the second GLTBQAI poetry night. The new location on Main Ave, Fargo ND is certainly a change from Red Raven’s former scene. A confined basement room has given way to the high lofted ceiling, salmon pink walls, hanging glass ball lights, and massive doors of an old firehouse. Parking is limited, but seeing as it’s just a bus ride and short walk away from MSUM campus, the commute is more than reasonable. Amidst the sounds of the coffee maker and the construction that accompanies the work in progress coffee house, the space accommodated a total of about 30 guests including myself and some university professors.
The order of the readers was decided by drawing names of a hat and the organizer of the even –quite appropriately- was the first up, delighting everyone with a short song tribute to Adam Lambert as well as a prose poem from class. Justine Breedon voiced her thoughts on the “mush left by Bush”, and Akshat Sharma left me particularly satisfied with his satirical poems, love letter with a twist, and the March Hare: a Gay Conduct Novel. The rest of the night included; Hidden Psalms, a 4th grade poem about rain being mother earth’s tears, Annual Resistance, songs and improvisation accompanied by drums reminding us to slow down and take our time in life, and even a brilliantly awkward piece about Green Spandex. The night ended with, get this: a knighting. Scheelk, leaving MSUM for MN State in Minneapolis, dubbed two poets Amy Schobinger; Lady of Words, and Danica Maloney; Dame of Pages as her successors who will continue with the tradition of poetry night in the future.
Not being a particularly adamant frequenter of the poetry scene, I was pleasantly surprised with the whole experience and I’m glad that I was able to go, even when being pulled around by the pinkies by the café owner’s young daughter. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a plug for poetry readings all over the world, but in a small community where one of the readers may very well be someone in your class, or even someone you know, it really is worth it to be involved in. As Amanda read from a poem she wrote on her phone, “it’s time to learn something new, every day.”
There will be more opportunities to get involved with the GSA scene and I hope to see you readers at the next event! You might enjoy it more than you think.
To wrap up this semester, I offer a heartfelt thanks to all the wonderful poets and guests who attended the second event at Red Raven. Have a wonderful and safe winter break and look forward to weekly sexuality columns from yours truly next semester! Stay curious.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Voice to the Voiceless
Published: November 11
While looking though the MSUM Sexuality column blog, I (finally) noticed that one of the articles -“Time to Recognize,” had a comment! Firstly, let me say that I’m thrilled that someone is looking at the blog. Yay social networking!
The following is the response posted on October 8th, 2010, by an unnamed source: “While I do think people are ill informed about the GSA club on campus, I also think there is a sort of exclusionary feel toward the Rainbow Room. I have felt a little bit as though I need an invitation to come and talk and hang out or whatever, since I'm not gay myself. I think this is often the emotion of the other students. I would maybe go so far as to say some people may just be intimidated because of a lack of knowledge or information about the GLBTQAI community on campus. Maybe part of making the GSA club more visible and accepted on campus is emphasizing that GSA is about giving voice to the voiceless and empowering those who have been systematically dis-empowered. This means anyone who has a strong conviction toward this line of thinking can join or get involved.”
I’m much obliged Unnamed source, for this thought out response. Furthermore, I’m delighted that you spoke up because this topic has been at the back of my mind for months and has just now found its outlet thanks to you. I myself admit to having fallen victim to what I like it call ‘the Rainbow wall’. The Wall is a conscious, and sometimes subconscious, fear that prevents people from asking questions about or entering into the Rainbow Room. It is the invisible uncertainty that keeps students at an arms length.
So, let me say now that the Rainbow Room and the Gay Straight Alliance is for EVERYONE. We don’t have some quasi high tech gaydar system that sniffs out and rejects the straight people. The club and the Room are communities for every person on this campus. To hit this point home, in a recent meeting with Housing Representative Nina Johnson we discussed the addition of a GSA table to the Visit Day receptions starting this Friday for new students, as well a short informational meeting with the Dragon Ambassadors in December.
Until then though –Unnamed source, readers, I extend a personal invitation from me to you. Please stop by whenever you see the door open, Rainbow flag in view. Want to do more than lounge on the couches, surf the web, or read from the Rooms persona LGBT library? Drop in on a club meeting and come see us on Tuesdays at 6pm. Club matters are discussed for the first hour or so but many of us stay around and shoot the breeze till 9pm. That’s a 3 hour window of opportunity!
I’ll say it again; straight people are welcome. If you assume that everyone allowed in the Rainbow Room has to be gay or lesbian and that’s what’s keeping you from going inside, you’re sorely mistaken and you’re missing out on meeting some really great people. It doesn’t matter what genders hand you chose to hold, everyone has a voice in the Rainbow Room. Thanks for reading and I hope to see you soon. –Stay curious!
While looking though the MSUM Sexuality column blog, I (finally) noticed that one of the articles -“Time to Recognize,” had a comment! Firstly, let me say that I’m thrilled that someone is looking at the blog. Yay social networking!
The following is the response posted on October 8th, 2010, by an unnamed source: “While I do think people are ill informed about the GSA club on campus, I also think there is a sort of exclusionary feel toward the Rainbow Room. I have felt a little bit as though I need an invitation to come and talk and hang out or whatever, since I'm not gay myself. I think this is often the emotion of the other students. I would maybe go so far as to say some people may just be intimidated because of a lack of knowledge or information about the GLBTQAI community on campus. Maybe part of making the GSA club more visible and accepted on campus is emphasizing that GSA is about giving voice to the voiceless and empowering those who have been systematically dis-empowered. This means anyone who has a strong conviction toward this line of thinking can join or get involved.”
I’m much obliged Unnamed source, for this thought out response. Furthermore, I’m delighted that you spoke up because this topic has been at the back of my mind for months and has just now found its outlet thanks to you. I myself admit to having fallen victim to what I like it call ‘the Rainbow wall’. The Wall is a conscious, and sometimes subconscious, fear that prevents people from asking questions about or entering into the Rainbow Room. It is the invisible uncertainty that keeps students at an arms length.
So, let me say now that the Rainbow Room and the Gay Straight Alliance is for EVERYONE. We don’t have some quasi high tech gaydar system that sniffs out and rejects the straight people. The club and the Room are communities for every person on this campus. To hit this point home, in a recent meeting with Housing Representative Nina Johnson we discussed the addition of a GSA table to the Visit Day receptions starting this Friday for new students, as well a short informational meeting with the Dragon Ambassadors in December.
Until then though –Unnamed source, readers, I extend a personal invitation from me to you. Please stop by whenever you see the door open, Rainbow flag in view. Want to do more than lounge on the couches, surf the web, or read from the Rooms persona LGBT library? Drop in on a club meeting and come see us on Tuesdays at 6pm. Club matters are discussed for the first hour or so but many of us stay around and shoot the breeze till 9pm. That’s a 3 hour window of opportunity!
I’ll say it again; straight people are welcome. If you assume that everyone allowed in the Rainbow Room has to be gay or lesbian and that’s what’s keeping you from going inside, you’re sorely mistaken and you’re missing out on meeting some really great people. It doesn’t matter what genders hand you chose to hold, everyone has a voice in the Rainbow Room. Thanks for reading and I hope to see you soon. –Stay curious!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Coming out- Being there
Published: November 4th, 2010
I’ve always believed that we can learn from stories. After all, why keep telling them if they don’t bring about anything productive. The story I wish to share with you today is partly my own, and one that is often and unfortunately a common situation.
I used to be very religious. Not so much in a devout way, but the congregation was like a second family to me. I loved the church, I loved the people, and while I hated getting up early on Sundays I did it anyway. The Pastor there was a good man in an older bother sort of way and I trusted him and considered him a friend. So when I –a 13-year-old girl at the time- told him I was attracted to other girls, I expected something reassuring to come of it.
“Don’t worry,” he said calmly. “I know a good psychiatrist.”
Shocked didn’t cover it. I didn’t want to hear that at all. I didn’t want to hear I had to go to some doctor to get ‘fixed.’ The only thing I wanted to hear was, “Don’t worry. That’s not a disease.”
To those of you have experienced it, you’ll know these words to be true: coming out is scary and the better you know someone the harder it is to tell them. Inwardly, we have to fight very hard to find ourselves. Outwardly, we have to fight against the rejection and the hatred of others.
A long and arduous process wouldn’t even begin to describe what I went through before the next time I was able to come out to another adult. When I did though it was to my high school Councilor. She was a woman I barely knew but I was at such a low point in my life I didn’t care what happened anymore. If she were to tell me I had some sort of illness at least our relationship wouldn’t suffer for the heartbreak it caused. But when I told her she just looked at me calmly and said: “It’s okay. That isn’t something to be ashamed of.”
There is nothing wrong with me; I am not sick; I am not perverted; I am not going through a ‘phase.’ I’ve long since come out to my parents and while it was rocky at first, I knew who I was and it wasn’t going to change that just to please someone else.
As we grow older, see more things, it is my hope for that the people in this world will gain compassion. People have different values and different ideas. New friends will constantly surprise you; strange people in your class, people you live with, work with, and talk with. Every person you meet from this moment on will teach you humanism and small worlds give way to broader horizons.
If you find yourself in a situation where someone you care about chooses to open their hearts to you, know this: the person who was your childhood friend, your son or your daughter, sister or brother, is still that very same person. They haven’t changed so don’t change your opinion of them. If you care about them, don’t make them scared to tell you things. We do not choose to be gay, but we do choose whom we tell. Please do not make us regret confiding in you.
For more advice on what to do if someone comes out to you, please visit the Rainbow Room in the CMU. Thanks for reading -stay curious!
I’ve always believed that we can learn from stories. After all, why keep telling them if they don’t bring about anything productive. The story I wish to share with you today is partly my own, and one that is often and unfortunately a common situation.
I used to be very religious. Not so much in a devout way, but the congregation was like a second family to me. I loved the church, I loved the people, and while I hated getting up early on Sundays I did it anyway. The Pastor there was a good man in an older bother sort of way and I trusted him and considered him a friend. So when I –a 13-year-old girl at the time- told him I was attracted to other girls, I expected something reassuring to come of it.
“Don’t worry,” he said calmly. “I know a good psychiatrist.”
Shocked didn’t cover it. I didn’t want to hear that at all. I didn’t want to hear I had to go to some doctor to get ‘fixed.’ The only thing I wanted to hear was, “Don’t worry. That’s not a disease.”
To those of you have experienced it, you’ll know these words to be true: coming out is scary and the better you know someone the harder it is to tell them. Inwardly, we have to fight very hard to find ourselves. Outwardly, we have to fight against the rejection and the hatred of others.
A long and arduous process wouldn’t even begin to describe what I went through before the next time I was able to come out to another adult. When I did though it was to my high school Councilor. She was a woman I barely knew but I was at such a low point in my life I didn’t care what happened anymore. If she were to tell me I had some sort of illness at least our relationship wouldn’t suffer for the heartbreak it caused. But when I told her she just looked at me calmly and said: “It’s okay. That isn’t something to be ashamed of.”
There is nothing wrong with me; I am not sick; I am not perverted; I am not going through a ‘phase.’ I’ve long since come out to my parents and while it was rocky at first, I knew who I was and it wasn’t going to change that just to please someone else.
As we grow older, see more things, it is my hope for that the people in this world will gain compassion. People have different values and different ideas. New friends will constantly surprise you; strange people in your class, people you live with, work with, and talk with. Every person you meet from this moment on will teach you humanism and small worlds give way to broader horizons.
If you find yourself in a situation where someone you care about chooses to open their hearts to you, know this: the person who was your childhood friend, your son or your daughter, sister or brother, is still that very same person. They haven’t changed so don’t change your opinion of them. If you care about them, don’t make them scared to tell you things. We do not choose to be gay, but we do choose whom we tell. Please do not make us regret confiding in you.
For more advice on what to do if someone comes out to you, please visit the Rainbow Room in the CMU. Thanks for reading -stay curious!
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